roman picisan

dont get mad…and be less provocative…i realize my guilt, and im soorry for that… my previous post is my bad… 4 ppl dat close to ma current situation, tq for ure understanding… and the accumulated great stories that i experienced in this 8mnths back was so great and i promised to write it later…heh if u still trust me…

my best frens wedding(ijal n elyn), my downturn in studs, my hatred, my red devils, my mates( current n past…also my beta’mates), my bocuk, my kabus ribut all will be mixed up together and will become my recipe in life…and its really2 great to have that…

but 4 now..just let me find some space to enjoy my raya di negeri org… at least i still can afford smiling…

wait for my words..ill be back soon…SELAMAT HARI RAYA UNTUK SEMUA…maaf zahir dan batin, kalau ada hutang tu halalkan je la hehe…

How much I am fed up with this endless routine! Im tired of pulling a smile on my face daily, whereas my soul is sad because of missing her. I am tired to bear those whom I cannot bear. Im tired of my chronic fatigue. Im tired of being strong. I am tired of lying to myself and nourish myself with hopes. I am tired to justify others hopes.

Life is not a fairy tale, why do I keep on believing in it? Im tired of struggling with maself and those around me, as the routine eats me up. I begin to feel myself a lost person. I am tired of being strong, but dont wish to be weak. How strange it happens in life, that what gave you a complete happiness, in time may give you deep sorrow. I feel this way recently… Hope time will heal me, and maself will return to my previous rhythm of life…

i miss u with all of me…

actually ive planned to complete my annual silent not more or less since my last post…but that time i was to bz wif my cousins wedding..and after that bz downsizing my tension for being back to lecture…for now i start to adapt the new atmosphere, minimizing my fully booked time-schedule, maybe i should promise to write more…as i promise to my fren.. and complete my promised letter… so a warm welcome to myself to my own republic of stupid statement…

as i said before..everything just terrible for me.. lifeline were very hectic and nerve-wrecking here, i lost a lot of self-sense since.. im too tired actually..

i miss almost everything…

sorry for the long gap, i forget the time already…

ive lost my mood somewhere this morning… i already planned what things i should do for the whole day, since i ponteng keja kemarin… but when my mgr call me,ah chai and susan to see them this mornin, i guess something just not gonna be right start that point… both mgr convince us to agree to their request… that is to send us to kl branch… once my heart pounded and not stable from that point of time till now… i would like to happy if i still in position as an assistant, but as an expected fully professional associate…i guess this condition really hard for less-confidence person like me, just critisize me… or scorn me… labelled me with anything, at least im realistic with this…

deep in my heart, i also want to go…coz i can see my fren, doubled my salary, enjoying kl-life style… but after hearing ahliews story ( coz he and 2 other senior were sent last year )… i agreed with my pessimistic side…and the majority should always win…

weather : sunny and dry                                        music : plug in baby - muse

its been a week, and im still in raya mood…though raya this year were too boring compared than last year, ive met a lot of old fren… beside that, ive miss a lot of acquaintance however.. how silly i am when i cannot manage my self to contact them… i also can forget to wish some of my best buddy… apa la aku ini… herewith i attached my apologize towards them…

to my best fren ever…ijal,zacky,rudi,raman,ah’bear..ampunkan segala dosa ku prennn..salah silap harap d ampuni…halal makan minum..segala yg terkredit..terdebit halal ya.. 0-0… insyaAllah raya akan datang kita akan bertemu juga..panjang umur InsyaAllah.. rindu sgt sama kalian…

today was very funny when collegues(senior) from kl obliged me to ask my fellow ey’jakartarian few audit terms…which i need to translate to malay terms, the funny part when my collegues at 1st try to chat with them, due to no other senior online that time, we only could reach few audit assistant(actually my fren) who have some problem with their english…kesian tgk, at last i helped them, and now i donno which client to charge…chett..

after a long wait, ive received my parcel..which sent from her, moments that should be flowered wif heppines turns to grey, my parcel were teared and broken…i donno why, but i guess this is national security thing… sheeeet* … i know who to blame, the president of united states, bodoh itu orang…. tak pasal2 beskut ku hancur…bodoh bodohhh… kalau nak maintained their propaganda pun jgn la jejaskan persekitaran dan beskut ku… sedap juga la yg masuk angin tu, coklat turns to strowberi, mcm mcm rasa ada…rasa nak lagi..rasa nak menangis pun ada… 

: nak senyum mcm niiii….

i felt very sad..but i donno why… very empty, discontent, bitter in my soul… and i donno since when…

pernahkah kamu rasa kesunyian yg amat sgt… rasa mcm dlm dunia ni, kamu sorang ja yang wujud…. sunyi sgt…tak ada sapa sapa untuk kau mengadu-domba, teman bicara…seseorg yg boleh jawab tanya kau…

kenapa aku rasa begitu…. kenapa aku sunyi sekali… kenapa dia harus jauh sekali….

what a hapless day.. early this morning i received an email from KL HRD, which mentioned about our new electronic leave system were ready for use with immediate effect, for me its a nice kick-start as i should apply for hari raya next week.. but as soon as haznah reach me and told me theres a miscalculation on her accumulated leave.. which shows she had 40 days-off, then suliano told me he had 92 days…then we checked susan,ah liew ..75 and 88 days respectively.. and i didnt have any idea why i entitled for 22 days only.. actually the 22 days were correct if i calculated manually from my personal file… while the others had their own free-holiday…sheetttt… is this the beginning for my unlucky period….

when i drive this morning to office..theres a lady driving in front of me along the way down town.. and i was her victim for her carelessness, she often brek mati..can u imagine, she do her make-up, adjusting her side mirror while shes driving… theres a time a almost hit her car… in 1 line-road and theres no car up ahead, she can drive below 30kmph… what a *toot… and i end up arriving at office 3 mins late..hehe.. but it still a very unpleasant starting for me this day..

after sahur today, I continue watch uefa champions league rather sleep as always… but in the end, Barcelona defeated by 1 goal… nyesal aku tgk,buang karan.. then after subuh cannot sleep coz my perut sakit lagi… and now im stuck in this office, assigned but jobless… huahhhh.. gambatteee … still have a half-day to endure… hiyahh hiyahhh wachaaa… 

..merampas bijak hatiku…

though he’s the one who experienced the saddest part of the story, Chopper the smallest and the most adorable member of the crew. Of course, this is something that you can naturally expect from a baby deer. But not only is Chopper a baby deer, but he’s also a doctor!.. Chopper, like Luffy, has eaten a Devil’s Fruit. Chopper’s fruit gave him the ability to change his form, though he still has fur. Chopper can turn himself into an almost human form which gives him the ability to be a doctor. Chopper also has a special item that he carries with him which is known as a ‘Rumble Ball’. When Chopper eats a rumble ball, he can transform into even more forms than normal (up to 7 transformation, but only last 3 min’s)…

cannot afford myself to miss another chopper act in ‘one piece’…gambaterroo chopper’san..

Layangkan mata..Menembus cahaya putih kilaunya.. Meneduhkan lamunan…  Masih jelas terlihat Pesona ayumu… Masih jelas terasa Getar dawai jiwamu…..

missing someone could be fatal…ure injuries condition depends on how that person connected to you, its sicken..where ure hopeless to endure, you only can take it but cannot leave it… but when it came to someone that ure worth missing, its complete twisted affection… i guess most of us already been there..

Perlahan… Bawa semua tanya…Satu bersama… Langkah di taman ini… Terangkai bunga tanda… Cinta murni adanya… Tetapi kekasih pun tiada… Muncul hapus rinduku 

commonly, everybody just the same if they differentiated above the name of love…

Inikah surga cinta yang banyak orang pertanyakan… Atau hanya mimpi yang tiada pernah berakhir jua… Terbanglah cinta sampaikan sayangku hanya bagi dia… Tak ingin rasa sepi meratapi malang tanpa dirinya