roman picisan

its been a week, and im still in raya mood…though raya this year were too boring compared than last year, ive met a lot of old fren… beside that, ive miss a lot of acquaintance however.. how silly i am when i cannot manage my self to contact them… i also can forget to wish some of my best buddy… apa la aku ini… herewith i attached my apologize towards them…

to my best fren ever…ijal,zacky,rudi,raman,ah’bear..ampunkan segala dosa ku prennn..salah silap harap d ampuni…halal makan minum..segala yg terkredit..terdebit halal ya.. 0-0… insyaAllah raya akan datang kita akan bertemu juga..panjang umur InsyaAllah.. rindu sgt sama kalian…

today was very funny when collegues(senior) from kl obliged me to ask my fellow ey’jakartarian few audit terms…which i need to translate to malay terms, the funny part when my collegues at 1st try to chat with them, due to no other senior online that time, we only could reach few audit assistant(actually my fren) who have some problem with their english…kesian tgk, at last i helped them, and now i donno which client to charge…chett..

after a long wait, ive received my parcel..which sent from her, moments that should be flowered wif heppines turns to grey, my parcel were teared and broken…i donno why, but i guess this is national security thing… sheeeet* … i know who to blame, the president of united states, bodoh itu orang…. tak pasal2 beskut ku hancur…bodoh bodohhh… kalau nak maintained their propaganda pun jgn la jejaskan persekitaran dan beskut ku… sedap juga la yg masuk angin tu, coklat turns to strowberi, mcm mcm rasa ada…rasa nak lagi..rasa nak menangis pun ada… 

: nak senyum mcm niiii….

i felt very sad..but i donno why… very empty, discontent, bitter in my soul… and i donno since when…

pernahkah kamu rasa kesunyian yg amat sgt… rasa mcm dlm dunia ni, kamu sorang ja yang wujud…. sunyi sgt…tak ada sapa sapa untuk kau mengadu-domba, teman bicara…seseorg yg boleh jawab tanya kau…

kenapa aku rasa begitu…. kenapa aku sunyi sekali… kenapa dia harus jauh sekali….

what a hapless day.. early this morning i received an email from KL HRD, which mentioned about our new electronic leave system were ready for use with immediate effect, for me its a nice kick-start as i should apply for hari raya next week.. but as soon as haznah reach me and told me theres a miscalculation on her accumulated leave.. which shows she had 40 days-off, then suliano told me he had 92 days…then we checked susan,ah liew ..75 and 88 days respectively.. and i didnt have any idea why i entitled for 22 days only.. actually the 22 days were correct if i calculated manually from my personal file… while the others had their own free-holiday…sheetttt… is this the beginning for my unlucky period….

when i drive this morning to office..theres a lady driving in front of me along the way down town.. and i was her victim for her carelessness, she often brek mati..can u imagine, she do her make-up, adjusting her side mirror while shes driving… theres a time a almost hit her car… in 1 line-road and theres no car up ahead, she can drive below 30kmph… what a *toot… and i end up arriving at office 3 mins late..hehe.. but it still a very unpleasant starting for me this day..

after sahur today, I continue watch uefa champions league rather sleep as always… but in the end, Barcelona defeated by 1 goal… nyesal aku tgk,buang karan.. then after subuh cannot sleep coz my perut sakit lagi… and now im stuck in this office, assigned but jobless… huahhhh.. gambatteee … still have a half-day to endure… hiyahh hiyahhh wachaaa… 

..merampas bijak hatiku…

though he’s the one who experienced the saddest part of the story, Chopper the smallest and the most adorable member of the crew. Of course, this is something that you can naturally expect from a baby deer. But not only is Chopper a baby deer, but he’s also a doctor!.. Chopper, like Luffy, has eaten a Devil’s Fruit. Chopper’s fruit gave him the ability to change his form, though he still has fur. Chopper can turn himself into an almost human form which gives him the ability to be a doctor. Chopper also has a special item that he carries with him which is known as a ‘Rumble Ball’. When Chopper eats a rumble ball, he can transform into even more forms than normal (up to 7 transformation, but only last 3 min’s)…

cannot afford myself to miss another chopper act in ‘one piece’…gambaterroo chopper’san..

Layangkan mata..Menembus cahaya putih kilaunya.. Meneduhkan lamunan…  Masih jelas terlihat Pesona ayumu… Masih jelas terasa Getar dawai jiwamu…..

missing someone could be fatal…ure injuries condition depends on how that person connected to you, its sicken..where ure hopeless to endure, you only can take it but cannot leave it… but when it came to someone that ure worth missing, its complete twisted affection… i guess most of us already been there..

Perlahan… Bawa semua tanya…Satu bersama… Langkah di taman ini… Terangkai bunga tanda… Cinta murni adanya… Tetapi kekasih pun tiada… Muncul hapus rinduku 

commonly, everybody just the same if they differentiated above the name of love…

Inikah surga cinta yang banyak orang pertanyakan… Atau hanya mimpi yang tiada pernah berakhir jua… Terbanglah cinta sampaikan sayangku hanya bagi dia… Tak ingin rasa sepi meratapi malang tanpa dirinya

ive checked the fare between nov-dec, caught few prices which attract me..but i still need an approval from my Financial Controller ;p.. and the possibilites to get approved might low but i will try, whatever the result is..i admit..i have nothing to lose then

i miss my buddy a lot..of coz ijal and zacky, i donno what kind of life they possessed rite now…but i know, semuanya baik-baik saja.. i guess they both were buzy rite now… for raman n rudi, kamu juga baik2 d sana kan prenn..

level of boringness were very high in here opis..its unbearable till i mcm nak minum air sirap limau ja heheh..acah ja tu..

supposed to be like this, a msg on behalf of someone : salam aidilfitri ini saya tujukan kepada suami tersayang d tawau, anak2 tercinta d rumah..mummy dan daddy, adik beradik, mama dan bapak mertua..adik beradik ipar..maaflah tahun ni dak balik lagi..beraya d perantauan lagi, salam sayang dan drindu selalu..

dalam kelaparan puasa, keletihan kerja..aku nak imbas balik la kenangan manis aku masa muda2 dulu, masa tu aku ada byk sahabat di sekeliling aku, sahabat2 aku pun best sebab semua sekepala dgn aku…SMKJA PMR batch’96, sekolah yg melahirkan byk jenis manusia aku lihat sekarang.. dari setinggi tinggi profesion hinggalah pembunuh, sekolah ini hanya terkenal dgn gangsterism dan ragbinya saja tak lebih dari itu, kalau nak d bandingkan dgn sekolah lainnya, zaman kemuncak adalah 2 tahun terakhir masa form 2 dan 3, aku,roy,mansah,wan paku,wan taman,suhardi,diman,azman,arwah samsudin,roleff,aspar dll membentuk kesatuan yang paling best hinggakan kelas kami d cemburui oleh byk pihak, kelas yg terkenal dgn akademik,lawak dan kemafiaannya, jahil sgt masa tu..curi mangga apek,mandi sungai,ponteng solat jumaat,bergaduh,mengacau aweks kelas lain,main bola,jaming dll..tapi kami tetap jadi kelas contoh, mungkin sebab gabungan pasangan terbijak sekolah ada d kelas kami..Roy dan hasnitah, while the rest boleh tahan dgn pencapaian kami.. kalau nak d ceritakan kebodohan kami mmg byk, kami suka camping+picnic d mana mana kami rasa best..tidur d jambatan,bbq dgn cikgu kelas..asal ada spotchek mesti ada yg kena..aku dgn suhardi mesti kenala kalau pasal rambut panjang, mansah dgn walkman,roy dgn majalah ujang,wan dgn seluar bell-bottom adeh lawak betul la masa tu…byk kali kena tangkap dan kena denda tapi kebal juga..pernah suhardi kibar spender rudi dekat tiang bendera sekolah, mmg kena abis dia masa tu..aku plak kalau bab hukuman cabut rumput semalu mmg hebat takde sapa bleh lawan, PS orang buat corak batik kami buat corak tulang sama tengkorak adeh..mansah lagi best, buat mark GnR..masa kelas memasak (ERT) org masak telur..kami masak megi dgn telur, masa tu top slam,exist,umbrella, mcm mcm nama pelik..siti nurhaliza baru nak terpacak…tapi kami kira flexible juga la sebab minat KRU (roy punya pengaruh la ni) tapi kami tetap minat UG dan indie masa tu..mcm OAG,applegreen,saturnine,subculture,the pilgrims mcm mcm la best masa tu..rock kapak pun kami layan..wings jgn cerita la, tapi mansah mmg obses dgn rock…Gnr,metallica,slash snakepit,iron maiden..semua dia tau kalau pasal rock, rock kapak punya org..masa tu wave alternatif start masuk 3rd eye blind,hootie n blowfish,alanis..lepas kurt koben mati masa aku form 2..grunge pun mengganas jugak, zaman yg penuh dgn muzik bagi aku..dangdut pun kami layan..amelina kan top masa tu, tu suhardi punya pukulan, kaki dangdut punya org tapi drummer label UG..aii pelik pelik.. masa tu selalu p rumah kawan kawan yg lain..mcm rumah diman,roy,mansah..konon study,padahal main game,tgk konser rock atau buat bodoh. top rambut less tepi..ala botak tepi tu, seluar besar bawah haha..siap ada button lagi, kalau nak di igt mmg byk la..cikgu pun kamcing dgn kami, biasa lepak rumah cikgu baca komik..masak2..main gitar, cikgu max,cikgu kong,cikgu arbin dan cikgu beddu paling best, sekepala tapi dlm kelas still kena rotan kalau bodoh, aku mmg tabik dgn cara diorg treat kami..paling gembira bila ada saja aktiviti kelas d buat…mcm camping kelas form 3, paling sedih masa arwah samsudin meninggal sakit jantung…sedih juga masa lepas pmr dan semua bawa haluan masing2..rindu dgn bau keringat kawan2 dekat kelas..rindu nak buli pompuan d kelas..rindu nak vandalism kan meja kerusi kelas..conteng dinding kelas, rindu nak kena rotan, aku rindu semuanya…zaman tu mmg best betul, walau sekarang masih byk kami still contact, tapi semua tak sama sudah..mansah dah jadi lecturer,roy jadi arkitek,wan paku jadi askar diraja,suhardi ikut tabligh,hasnitah dah 2 anak,roleff hilang mcm angin,rudi jadi sekuriti,aspar jadi penjenayah cyber,asmidar dah jadi doktor,sapariah cikgu,wan taman jadi kerani.. tapi aku still rindu diorng semua..harap2 semua dpt jumpa balik

.this morning i received 5 sets of questionaire regarding my current client, send by auditors who audit the holding co. (obviously not us..what a pity for losing such big holding client..apa nak jadi!! entah la ), and i hate to fill it up…it just adding q list in my working hrs…sudahla keja2 lain belum adanya siap…and now i decide..

today i just wanna rest,ignore and put all the messy thing aside. hence, i do all my job without much enthusiasm, quarter-half hearted actually hehe, so sitting here while my other collegues enjoying their lunch, i prefer to rewind my memories 3 months back… hehe and i decide not to write whats happen..enough if im saying, i really comforting myself now…

p/s: aiii..sapala yg suka makan sundae cone + specky + jaket pink + suke g TESCO + bad hair day(everyday) + comel ni…

when i was a kid, im not the pleasant cutey like everybody expect me to be, im the worst…currently me, suppose nothing have change much, so i think im not an option for anybody, since im still not in the position of having my true-self, so it would be delay for anyone who expect something from me.

heedlessly, avoiding peoples advice were very frustrating, but thankx a lot for the concern..i try my best after this.

I am in the process of making myself used to the environment here opis..coz i felt weaker stay along with aircond coldness..it frozen my brain, my tought and all of me…with 3 pending jobs, console a/c which i didnt admit to finish, deferred tax that i still work out with ( old template style..very annoying ), back-log Co. which almost 5 years unaudit…mix them all makes me really sick, kenapa la aku dak jadi Perdana Menteri..iskk sorry for mention my job…then i guess it take over my concentration subsequently, and again..im losing my words…&^&$#&%%$#^%#^#!!!blank $%^^*%$%^%$##!! lost…

Since I’m not in the position of having well written English-yeah I’m small,curly haired,brownie,’comot’,low class hero-of-the-day wannabe.

I keep asking my self whether people who achieved great life were borned with that fate, were everything+anything were unfair…how we measure the fairnesszzz of it??
am i keep complaining? my life plot were not so happy-yo, and I realize i hate myself coz didnt accept it… am i pretending as I am a good mannered, well and soft spoken people with heartless mind… someone answer me?? am i trying too hard and push it to level which i shouldnt.. as if im wrongly trying…

not so pleased and welcomed in this ‘professional-world’ .. i know, is that mean i wrongly choose this path from beginning… then why i keep trying that hard…

actually..i was so tired…